


Baby Loser Club

by katrinawritesthings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Brotp, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 09:57:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katrinawritesthings/pseuds/katrinawritesthings
Summary: so like au where taem’s trying to get into a club on campus and they make him do a weird sxual dare and he half asses it ™“And taking a selfie with a dick in your mouth is gonna make them like you?” Kibum asks incredulously. Taemin puffs up his lips, pokes Kibum’s wrist with two little fingers.“Well, technically, they want me to blow someone and have photo proof,” he says. “But I don’t feel like blowing someone? So I figured I’d just fake it.”





	Baby Loser Club

"Hey, uh, not to be blunt,” Taemin starts, looking up from his milkshake at Kibum on the other side of the café table. Both Kibum and Jonghyun look at him curiously, Kibum pausing his texting and Jonghyun blinking at him mid sip of his smoothie. Taemin stirs his milkshake a little and licks his spoon clean.

“And by ‘not to be blunt,’ I mean, yes to be blunt, because I’m not neurotypical enough to know how to not be blunt,” he says, shrugs it as an afterthought. Jonghyun snorts, hides a smile behind his cup, and Kibum rolls his eyes but nods with an understanding little hum. Taemin grins at both of them. He likes being at a new college and having new friends and having a fresh start where he doesn’t have to fake being a normie. “Uh,” he says again, and takes a deep breath so he can ask what he wants to ask.

“Can I take a selfie, Kibum, with, like, your erect penis inside of my mouth?”

This time Jonghyun snorts into loud laughter that he quickly stifles into giggles, covering his mouth with his hands and turning into Kibum’s shoulder. Kibum just looks at Taemin, face neutral, phone dangling out of his hand. Taemin sips his milkshake and waits for him to reply. When he doesn’t, Taemin figures he should probably give more details. “I don’t wanna like, actually blow you, or anything,” he says. “Just, like, get you hard and then take a picture.” He shrugs. Simple. “You can say no,” he adds helpfully. Jonghyun’s hand grips Kibum’s jacket real tight as more giggles spill from his lips. Kibum puts his own hand over his face for a second and then rests it on the table.

“Okay,” he says, “first of all, never say ‘erect penis’ to me again. And second,” and here he pauses again to shake his head and take a deep breath and squint at Taemin. _“Why?”_  he asks.

“Oh,” Taemin says. That’s probably relevant information too. “Uh,” he says. “You know that club I was trying to get into that you told me I shouldn't be trying to get into?” he asks. “It’s for that.”

“Oh my god,” Kibum mutters. He shakes his head and looks back to his phone, a grumpy little frown on his lips. Taemin flops over the table and pouts, reaching out to pap Kibum’s wrist with both hands.

“Come on,” he whines. “You know I thrive on validation. I just want the cool kids to like me.”

“And taking a selfie with a dick in your mouth is gonna make them like you?” Kibum asks incredulously. Taemin puffs up his lips, pokes Kibum’s wrist with two little fingers.

“Well, technically, they want me to blow someone and have photo proof,” he says. “But I don’t feel like blowing someone? So I figured I’d just fake it.” He shrugs. It seems like a good plan to him. The cool kids won’t know he didn’t actually let someone nut in his mouth. And then he’ll be, like, three out of five dares into getting into the club. Easy. Still, though, Kibum rolls his eyes and shakes his head and wiggles Taemin’s hands away from his arm.

“I told you, I’m not helping you get into some shitty wannabe frat club for baby losers,” he says. “If you wanna fake blow someone then ask someone else.” He says it with a note of finality and Taemin leans back in his seat, grumpy and dejected. Humph. Well, then, he guesses it’s time for plan B.

“Hey, Jonghyun?” he asks.

“Oh my god, not--” Kibum starts, but as Jonghyun immediately pops up from his giggles and smiles at Taemin with wide, eager eyes, he cuts himself off and shakes his head. “Whatever, I don’t care,” he mutters, and buries his nose in his phone.

“Yes?” Jonghyun asks politely, clasping his hands on the table in front of him. Taemin smiles at that, at the cute play of a polite service worker. Jonghyun is funny. Taemin straightens up and frames his face in his hands to act pretty and play along with him.

“Can I fake suck your dick for a picture?” he asks sweetly. He and Jonghyun both ignore Kibum’s pointedly loud sigh as Jonghyun reaches over the table to hold one of Taemin’s hands in both of his.

“Taemin,” Jonghyun says. “I would  _love_  to help you succumb to peer pressure and join a sketchy group of students that think weird sexual dares aren’t nasty.” He even nods as he says it, bottom lip bitten between his teeth, and Taemin gasps softly. He almost can’t believe he got so lucky--that is, until Jonghyun drops his hand and leans back with a shrug and a little smirk. “But,” he says, “my dick doesn’t exactly work right and I’m not popping a viagra just to _not_  get blown.” He picks up his smoothie and takes a sip. “Shit’s expensive,” he says.

“Oh yeah, I forgot your dick’s broke,” Kibum says, looking up and poking Jonghyun’s cheek. Jonghyun nods, putting his hand on his heart in what Taemin is pretty sure is fake despair.

“Yeah, it’s a real tragedy,” he says. Then he straightens up and looks at Taemin again. “Aren’t you roommates with Minho?” he asks, serious this time. “Why don’t you try him? He’s the helpful sort.” Taemin sighs at the suggestion. Minho won’t work.

“I was gonna ask him, but he’s with the club, so--”

“Excuse me?” Kibum says loudly. He slaps his phone down on the table and looks at Taemin with wide eyes. “He’s  _what?_  He is  _not,_  he’s not allowed, I will drag his ass out of there kicking and--”

“No no, I mean, he’s not  _a part of_  the club,” Taemin says quickly, shaking his head. He forgot Kibum and Minho have been best friends since, like, forever. “He’s just friends with a couple of them, and I feel like they would, you know, ask him to verify, and you know he can’t lie.” He barely even knows Minho and he already knows that the babe can’t lie. He’s too soft. Kibum squints at him searchingly for a moment, then humphs and goes back to his phone. Taemin has no idea what that means, but he also doesn’t really care. He has bigger problems.

“Hmm,” Jonghyun hums. He props his chin in both hands and sips his smoothie thoughtfully. “Have you met Lee Jinki?” he asks. “He’s real chill. If you explained the whole thing to him he’d probably be down to do you a favor.”

“Hmm,” Taemin hums back. Lee Jinki. Taemin’s seen him around a few times, he thinks. A friend of a friend’s friend.

“I mean, I guess I could ask,” he says. There’s no harm in trying. “You know how to get in contact with him?” he asks. Jonghyun nods quickly, pulling out his phone.

“Yeah, yeah, there’s this party in a couple days that he said he’d probably go to,” he says. “I’ll tell him I wanna introduce you two there.” He holds out one hand over the table while he thumbs through his contacts with the other. Taemin high fives it happily. He loves friends.

~

This party isn’t much of a party, Taemin thinks. Or, well, he guesses. He doesn’t really have the experience to know. He guesses most college parties probably aren’t like the loud wild bashes in the movies and could be more like… whatever this is. Chill, quiet. Video games on the tv, groups of people standing around and talking. Just hanging out. No big deal. He has no idea.

Either way, he’s leaning up against the wall by the couch, sipping some strawberry soda and thumbing through his phone while he waits for Jonghyun to come back to him with Jinki. He left a few minutes ago to “go find the fucko,” so Taemin assumes it won’t be much longer.

As if responding to his thoughts, his attention is diverted from his phone by a square hand waving gently between it and his face. He blinks and looks up; Jonghyun is there, smiling wide and handsome and eager, and his arm is around the waist of who Taemin can only assume to be Jinki. He’s a little taller, with a round face and long brown hair that frames it, and his polite smile crinkles the corners of his eyes a little. Taemin does his best to smile back as he clicks his phone asleep and puts it in his pocket.

“Hey,” he says to both of them.

“Hey,” Jonghyun says back. He pushes Jinki forward a little gently. “This is Jinki that I told you about,” he smiles. “And Jinki, this is Taemin that I told  _you_  about.” He bounces a little on his toes as Jinki smiles a little wider at Taemin and tilts his head with a third “hey.” Taemin nods back happily. He appreciates that Jinki didn’t offer his hand to shake. He never knows how long he’s supposed to hold hands with a stranger before it starts getting weird. Jonghyun looks between the two of them fondly and then pats Jinki’s butt and Taemin’s elbow. “Okay, well, I’ll leave you two alone to get to know each other,” he says. He winks at Taemin too before he turns and waves with a little “bye bye!”

Taemin snorts as he watches him go. That was straightforward. He looks back to Jinki, who’s glancing back at Jonghyun with just as much amusement as Taemin feels. He guesses Jonghyun has the same effect on everyone.

“So, anyway,” Jinki says as he turns back. His voice is smooth and pleasant. “Jonghyun said you had a weird sexual favor to ask me?” He looks innocently curious, hands papping his pockets and mouth in a friendly little smile, but Taemin still bursts into giggles. Fuck. Of course that’s what Jonghyun decided to tell him, and of course he didn’t add any of the details. He covers his mouth with his hand and then pulls the corners of his lips down with his fingers to sober himself.

“Yeah, um, yeah,” he grins. He runs his hand through his hair with a whoosh of breath. He guesses if both of them are going to be straightforward about it then he can too. He’s glad he didn’t waste too much time worrying about how to casually approach the subject. He’s also glad that Jinki doesn’t look bothered at all by their topic of conversation. Jonghyun was right. He just looks like he’d be happy to help. “You know that wannabe frat club that meets in the east quad every week?” he asks. Jinki snorts and nods immediately.

“The baby loser club, yeah,” he says. “Why d’you wanna get in there?” he asks. Taemin shrugs.

“Validation,” he says. “Plus I hear they have a PS4 and free snacks,” he adds. He’ll hang out with a bunch of dudebros for free games and free food. “And a club will look good on my resume?” he says. That’s important too, he guesses. Jinki seems to agree, nodding sagely with just a hint of a smirk.

“You’re not wrong,” he says. He leans on the wall next to Taemin, their shoulders pressing together. Up close he smells a little like oak and coconuts. Taemin approves of his perfume choice. “So what weird sexual dare do they want you to do?” he asks. Taemin shrugs and wiggles his arm to link with Jinki’s, just for something to hold. Jinki doesn’t protest so he assumes it’s fine.

“They want me to suck someone off and take a selfie as proof,” he says. “But I don’t wanna, like,  _actually_ blow someone? So I’m trying to fake it.” He shrugs again. “It’ll be like, you get hard, and then I put the tip of your dick in my mouth and take a selfie, and then you put your dick away or go jerk off or whatever.” It’s a pretty solid plan, in his opinion.

“Pretty solid plan, in my opinion,” Jinki says. Taemin grins. He likes Jinki already. Jinki unlinks their arms, but takes Taemin’s wrist and holds their hands up together, fingers splayed. Taemin’s hand is smaller and he catches a tiny smug smirk on Jinki’s lips before Jinki drops his wrist. He grins and cocks a brow when Jinki glances at him. Jinki looks away quickly, smile a little embarrassed now, before he runs his fingers through his hair and looks back with his pleasant expression again. “I’ll put the head of my dick in your mouth for a few seconds, yeah,” he says.

And despite how casual and bunt this whole conversation has been, Taemin still feels his eyebrows rise into his hair in surprise.

“Really, that easy?” he asks. He wasn’t expecting it to go this smooth at all. Jinki shrugs, though, with a little nod.

“Yeah, sure, why not,” he says. “I like helping people.” He says it so simply, so casually, that Taemin has to smile back just as simply and casually. That’s really nice.

“That’s really nice,” he says. Jinki’s smile widens until it’s pushing his eyes up into little crescents. Then he yawns into the back of his hand and shakes his bangs out of his face.

“Not tonight, though, uh,” he says, and then he shrugs. “I know there’s a couple empty bedrooms or whatever to do it real quick now, but. I’m a week unwashed right now.” He says it with a shameless grin and Taemin muffles another giggle into his hand. He knows that feel. A week unwashed is a regular week for him. “I don’t wanna put my sweaty dirty dick on you,” Jinki grins. Taemin pulls his lips down again to steady his laughter.

“I appreciate your concern,” he says. He doesn’t really wanna taste sweaty unwashed dick either. That's a kink for when he knows someone better. “Can I get your number?” he asks. “You can text me whenever you have time for me to not suck you.” He pulls out his phone and wiggles it hopefully. Immediately Jinki nods and reaches for his own phone.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. “I’ll get back to you soon.”

“Nice,” Taemin grins. When they swap phones they also high five. Taemin makes a mental note to buy Jonghyun food later as a thank you.

~

Jinki gets back to him the next day, a Sunday, with a simple text message that says, “Hey wanna come over to not suck me now? I’m dorm 402 by the library. U can hang out after too if u want.” Taemin likes it. It’s short, sweet, contains all the information he needs. He also likes how Jinki apparently takes the time to add apostrophes to words but not type out “you” fully. He appreciates a commitment to a typing style. He glances at the text again as he wanders around the dorms by the library and stops in front of one just to make sure. 402. Yep.

He lifts his hand, knocks four times, sticks his hands into his pockets, and lifts himself up and down on his toes as he waits. He hopes his hair didn’t get too messed up on the walk over. He spent five whole minutes fingerstyling it to be hot and pretty so he could look good in the selfie. It’s not as good as it could be, but he asked Kibum for help and Kibum just told him again that he wasn’t going to help him get into the club.

Before he left his dorm, Taemin took Kibum’s favorite jacket off of his coat hook and put it back on underneath every other jacket.

Now, he tilts his head and looks at the little cracks in the paint on Jinki’s door. He feels like the tour guide lied to him when he said that they repainted the school every five years. That looks like at least seven years of peeling. He’s wiggling his hand out of his pocket to pick at it when the door opens and Jinki appears there instead; Taemin hesitates, then just waves with a little grin.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m here for the fake succ.”

“Hell yeah,” Jinki grins back. He steps back and opens the door more to give Taemin room. “Come in, uh, ignore my roommates judging us.” He points to another pair of people tapping on their laptops on a couch. Taemin waves blandly when they glance at him, then gasps softly and actually looks around.

“Bruh, wait,” he says, leans over a little to peep into a whole ass kitchen. “This is one of the fancy ass dorms? With like actual rooms?” What the fuck. His dorm is just a rectangle with two beds and a public bathroom across the hallway outside. Jinki grins sheepishly and tugs Taemin down an  _inside_  hallway and to a door.

“Uh, yeah,” he says. “I’m double drowning in student debt but at least we have a microwave and single rooms.” He sticks his student card into the slot on the door and shoulders it open while Taemin snorts. He guesses he’s fine with having a shitty dorm and less debt, yeah. He slips into Jinki’s room and looks around, appreciates the lazily taped up posters and neat little desk. He backs up until the backs of his knees hit the single bed and flops down onto it, propping himself up on his elbows and does his best flirty eyes at Jinki.

“Ready for five seconds of something and then a whole lot of nothing?” he asks, cocking his leg up on the bed as sexily as he can. A second later he puffs up his lips and lets his foot slide off, sheepishly leaning over to brush dirt off of Jinki’s sheets. “Sorry, that was rude,” he mumbles. Jinki exhales heavily into quiet laughter, shaking his head as he leans on his door to make sure it’s closed.

“It’s fine,” he grins. He walks over and flops back on his bed next to Taemin, yawning into the back of his hand and pulling his pillow under his head. “What was the plan again?” he asks. “I get a boner and then you put my dick in your mouth and take a pic and then I let you play with my Playstation while I go jerk off in the bathroom?”

“Something like--you have a PS4?” Taemin asks, sitting up and looking at Jinki with wide eyes. What the fuck. He looks around for a tv and actually finds one on his dresser, but before he can wiggle over to find the console, Jinki snorts unattractively and shakes his head.

“God, no,” he grins. “A  _Playstation_ , like, literally, the first one.” He rolls off the bed and pulls a towel off of a grey little console, popping the cd holder open and pulling out the Spyro disc inside. “I took it from home when I moved in here because it’s not like my parents were gonna use it.”

“Oh,” Taemin says, and smothers a grin with his hand. That makes more sense. “Still cool, though,” he says, coming over to grab a controller and look it over. Then he tosses it back on the dresser and shakes his head clear of distractions. “Anyway,” he says. “Dick stuff.”

“Right, yeah,” Jinki says. He puts his stuff down too and hops back on his bed. “Gimmie a sec,” he says, wiggling his hand into his pants. Taemin grins, cocking a brow and watching his hand move under there.

“Just a sec?” he asks, sliding down to his knees at the edge of the bed. Jinki laughs breathily and nods.

“I can  _get_  a boner in a second,” he says. “It just takes forever to make it go away.” He lies back, pulling his pillow close again, and nuzzles into it as he rolls his hips up gently. Taemin hums, intrigued, resting his chin on the mattress.

“Sounds kinda obnoxious,” he says. He’s always nutted quickly and then conked out into a nap after. “I never get what you super boner people do with your super boners for so long.” Jinki shrugs.

“It gives me big dom energy,” he says. “Especially with Jonghyun,” he adds. “Babe knows how to stretch out a viagra real well.”

“Hmm,” Taemin hums again. That also is intriguing. Jonghyun never mentioned that he and Jinki fucked, just that he was a nice dude that he knew. He guesses that’s a better way to introduce someone than “this guy that fucks me for hours,” though, so. He blinks out of his thoughts when Jinki makes a soft  _hup_  noise and sits up, wiggles over, and scoots over to the edge of the bed with his legs on either side of Taemin. “Oh,” he says, startled and then amused, leaning his cheek on Jinki’s thigh and grinning up on him. “Hey,” he grins. “Go time?” he asks.

“Frick yeah,” Jinki says. He pushes the hem of his pants down and Taemin hooks his fingers in his belt loops to help him out. He takes a moment to appreciate how chill both of them are being when Jinki’s hard dick kind of just flops out onto his thigh. He also takes a moment to bite his lip and appreciate how big it is. The baby losers at the cub are gonna be so impressed. Glancing up, he wiggles his fingers by it in askance.

“Can I?” he asks. “Just grab it?” He knows that’s what he’s here for, but he still wants to ask permission. Jinki nods, leaning back on his palms lazily. Taemin says the tiniest woohoo of victory and curls his hand around Jinki’s shaft. “Okay,” he says, leaning close and trying to figure out what the best angle for this would be. “Hmm. Should probably look wet, huh?” he asks glancing up again. “To be convincing.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right,” Jinki nods. Taemin nods back. Then he leans back, takes his hand away, drips some spit into it, and uses it to jerk Jinki off a little and get his ween looking all slick and shiny. Then he reaches with his phone in his butt pocket with that same hand, then pauses and groans in disgust.

“God, my hands all spitty and I don’t wanna touch my phone with it,” he breathes. He did that in the wrong order. Jinki laughs at him, but before he can pout too much, holds out his hand.

“Gimmie it with your left hand and I’ll take the pic for you,” he says. Taemin brightens again. Nice. He fumbles his phone out of his pocket, pokes through to his camera, and holds it up for him. Then he shuffles closer and smiles at Jinki’s ween, kissies the head, sucks it into his mouth a little bit and looks pretty up at the camera. Behind his phone, he sees Jinki’s finger tap a few times, and then he sees Jinki frown and tilt his head and glance down at him.

“I feel like you would look cuter if I stood up,” he hums, looking between Taemin and the camera. Taemin hums contemplatively; Jinki hisses, hips jerking a little, and Taemin pulls back to laugh loudly.

“Fuckin whoops,” he grins. He taps the slit of Jinki’s dick softly in apology. “My bad,” he says. Jinki chuckles breathily and pinches his cheek. “I always liked the between the legs angle, though, in porn,” he says, rubbing his thumb absently over the vein on the underside of Jinki’s dick. “I think it looks hot.”

“Yeah?” Jinki asks. “I’ve always hated it.” He says it casually, like it’s just neat that they have a difference in preference, but it makes Taemin think. Maybe the baby losers in the club have different preferences too. He should look like a babe to all of them if he wants better chances at getting in.

“I’ll do both,” he says, scooting back a little more to give Jinki room to stand. “How’s my hair?” he asks as Jinki does. Jinki hums, combs his fingers through it, plucks a few locks down to fall into his eyes.

“Babely,” he says. Taemin winks up at him. Hell yeah. “Do that thing where you stick your tongue out and just, like, put my dick on it, you know?” Jinki says. “That’s always my favorite.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Taemin says. He giggles as he readjusts Jinki’s dick in his hand. “This is like a photoshoot.” He feels like a fancy model. He puts Jinki’s dick on his tongue and hoods his eyes and smiles lazily up at the camera, waiting for Jinki to take the pic.

He does, and then he takes a bunch more, Taemin posing and winking and being as babely as possible, until they’re both laughing too much for any of the pics to be valid at the club. Taemin calls it when he slurps up the third tiny drip of precome from Jinki’s slit and his tummy actually growls at him like it wants something real. He grins as he leans away and reaches up for his phone.

“These are all so good, oh my god,” he mumbles as he looks through them. He looks like such a fucking  _babe._  “Thanks so much, my dude,” he tells Jinki, looking at him earnestly. He’s so grateful. Jinki winks back at him lazily.

“No prob,” he says. “I have snacks stashed in my bedside table, if you want some,” he says, pointing. “And you can look through my games. Or you can leave if you have stuff to do.” He shrugs. “I’m gonna.” He jerks his thumb towards the bathroom with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Taemin gives him an okey dokey symbol with his fingers and hops up onto his bed when Jinki moves. He watches Jinki waddle into his bathroom fondly, then lies on his back to keep looking through the pictures. He thinks Jinki was right; the ones where he’s standing are definitely the hottest.

~

“You know,” Taemin says slowly, watching four whole ass people file into his shared dorm room. He switches his gaze to frown at Minho as he plugs his phone in on their bedside table. “You said you were bringing  _a_ friend over,” he says. “Like, singular.”

“Shut up, we’re all your friends too,” Kibum snaps at him. Next to him, Jonghyun sits on Minho’s bed and tosses Taemin a packet of cookies, an obvious bribe, which Taemin takes as grumpily as possible.

“Yeah, but, like, still,” he says. “ _Communication_. Is nice.” He rolls over in bed so he can reach his foot out and gently kick Minho’s butt. Minho swats his foot away.

“Yeah, like the time you didn’t _communicate_  to me that you were gonna completely fill the mini fridge, including  _my half_ , with your weird baby cheese,” he says. Taemin huffs.

“There was a _sale_ ,” he says. Was he supposed to just not buy a whole mini fridge full? Minho just huffs back at him. He responds with yet another huff, then rolls back to his back and catches Jinki standing at the edge of his bed and papping it like he’s asking for permission to sit. Taemin snorts and nods, moving his feet to give him more room. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” all four of them reply. Taemin shakes his head, but grins as he opens up his cookies. He was planning on just chilling and taking a nap soon anyway. As long as no one makes Kibum do his loudest laugh, their conversation should be some nice background noise for him to fall asleep to. He offers Jinki a cookie for being the least gremliny of them all purely based on how he just knows him the least. When Jinki takes it, Taemin hums softly and wiggles to look at him better.

“I’ve been forgetting to text you,” he says. “but, like, thanks again, for letting me fake suck your dick.” He wiggles his hand out for a high five. Jinki does the quick hand hold thing instead, lacing their fingers and gently wiggling their hands together before letting go.

“Hey, no problem,” he grins. “How’d that go?” he adds. “Did they like it?”

“Oh, yeah, they--”

“I’m sorry, you did what now?” Minho interrupts. Taemin glances at him; he’s looking between the two of them with a very amusing mix of confusion and concern. Before he can grin and explain, Kibum sighs loudly and rolls his eyes.

“Taem’s trying to get into the baby loser club, remember?” he says. “They wanted him to blow someone so he fake blew Jinki.”

“I introduced them,” Jonghyun says proudly. His feet dangle off of the edge of Minho’s bed and kick happily, gelled up hair wiggling on top of his head. Taemin throws him a finger pistol and a wink as a thanks. Jonghyun gasps softly, reaches his hand out, grabs something invisible in midair, and puts it in his pocket like Taemin blew him a kiss instead. Kibum rolls his eyes again, this time so hard he falls backwards onto Minho’s pillows. From there he takes out his phone and starts scrolling through it.

“Anyway,” Jinki says, and Taemin turns to him. “How’d it go?” he asks again. “Are you in yet?” Taemin lifts his hand to run his fingers through his hair.

“I mean, actually,” he says. “The selfie was great, they loved that,” he says, nodding earnestly. They were super impressed by how he totally sucked down Jinki’s entire massive dong. “But, uh.” He squishes his cheeks a little embarrassedly. “Then they wanted me to go to the lake with them and let them bury me in sand all day. And sand throws me, like, headfirst into sensory hell, so. I stopped caring? And backed out and so now I’m not gonna get in ever, so.” He shrugs sadly.

“Awh,” Jonghyun pouts. “No fair.” Kibum disagrees; he gives Taemin one loud, hard, very in-your-face “HA” and looks back to his phone. Taemin chooses to ignore that.

“Don’t feel too bad about it,” Minho mutters. “All they do is complain about their life problems that they cause themselves but refuse to acknowledge that it’s their own fault.” He scrunches his nose like he greatly disapproves of his friends’ choice of club. Taemin huffs at him again. He doesn’t care about that.

“They have a  _PS4,_ ” he whines. He wanted  _that._  “And free snacks. And they would’ve validated me, like, so much,” he pouts. This time both Kibum and Minho roll their eyes. Jinki pats his leg sympathetically.

“Yeah, well, you can always come hang with me and my snacks and my PS1,” he offers. “I’ll validate you even if you play bad.”

“You’re my new best friend,” Taemin decides, right then and right there. He reaches for Jinki’s hand; Jinki slaps a high five into it. Taemin’s smile creeps over his whole face. Hell fucking yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> #Hell Yeah#jinki couldve just chilled with taem for a lil bit and let his boner go down by herself but he didnt feel like it lmao#so he jerks off and comes out and taems eating his doritos and playing spyro with his crumby fingies#a tru gaming gremlin#also 2min being grumpy roommates with each other is v important#nd so is jong being cocky nd smirky nd big but also giggly and grabby for attention and wiggly#and also kibum being tired#theyre all v important thanks for coming to my ted talk


End file.
